Applied Mindfulness Training | Bringing Secular Mindfulness Practices to Professional Audiences

The Mindful Negotiator’s Dilemma: To Prepare or Not to Prepare?

A blog post by Emily Gould on November 27, 2012 · Add Comment

A blogpost by Emily J. Gould, Empatia Solutions

It is a bedrock principle of negotiation theory that preparation is key. Experienced negotiators will spend time preparing almost every aspect of the negotiation: the presentation of facts, the statement of positions and demands, as well as the sequence of moves involved in the negotiation. It would be hard for any serious negotiator to abandon this practice and still negotiate for maximum effectiveness.

But there’s a danger to this approach, as helpful as it may be. Deals are made and conflicts get resolved in the present moment; not in the past when the facts took place, and not in the future, no matter how much we plan for it. The problem with preparing for a negotiation is that it can also sabotage genuine engagement and participation at the negotiation table. When I am thinking of my next move, I’m not listening to what is being said. I run the risk of missing a key piece or important clue, which might mean I lose opportunity or miss the boat entirely. Once I stop listening, I’m no longer negotiating.

So how can we prepare and also maintain the maximum availability for opportunity, new possibility, and unexpected synergy or creative outcomes? How can we prepare for negotiation mastery and also have beginner’s mind? Certainly, a daily mindfulness meditation practice will help. Present moment awareness is developed over time through practice. But there is another practice that plays a role in every wisdom tradition that is often overlooked in negotiation practice: empathy. Empathy [...]

Read Full Article →

Peaceful Effort: A Musician’s Breakthrough

A blog post by admin on November 8, 2012

A blog post by Madeline Bruser.

David came to my workshop in Vermont hoping to rediscover the joy he used to feel in playing the viola. Twenty years old and highly gifted, he attended an extremely competitive conservatory and grew up with a father who encouraged him to practice by constantly pushing him to work hard, play fast, and excel. Although David appreciated his father’s support, he longed to feel more independent of his influence. At his first workshop with me, he revealed to the group that his father had become very ill during the last year and could no longer provide support as he used to, and that he might even die within a few years. David felt torn. As much as he wanted to feel free of his father’s input, he also wanted desperately to make his father happy by practicing extremely hard. The conflict between these opposing desires had often paralyzed his inspiration, causing him to stop practicing for weeks at a time.

After listening to David’s story, I asked him to stand solidly upright, holding his viola in one hand, and to notice how his body felt from head to toe. He took a few moments to scan his body and feel his own presence in this way. I then asked him to place his viola in position and to play only the first note of his piece, noticing how that single sound affected him. He drew the bow across the string for several seconds, extending the note until he felt the [...]

Read Full Article →

Presence: The Ground of Mindfulness

A blog post by admin on November 7, 2012

A blog post by Patton Hyman.

Presence is an innate aspect of human experience which, for a variety of reasons, people fail to recognize. It’s the state we’re in when we’re not distracted and are in touch with the direct experience of sense perceptions, bodily sensations, and emotions or feelings. The first step in recognizing it is seeing that we generally don’t even consider whether we’re present or not.

Practicing mindfulness meditation, we can’t help but notice that we’ve created an ongoing narration or soundtrack to our life. Whatever we’re going through is constantly accompanied by a stream of commentary, explanations, theories, and complaints. This mental chatter colors the world for us because we’ve identified the two: we don’t see the commentary as a separate phenomenon from the direct experience of whatever is going on around us. We see a coworker and automatically put a label on him or her as good guy or gal, jerk, undermining enemy, threatening boss.

To up the ante, situations often “push our buttons” and we experience annoyance, irritation, or anger. Then the habitual tendency of mind is to construct a story line about the other individual or situation (“he enjoys trying to make it difficult for me” or “she’s trying to make me look bad” or “I hate situations like this”). In this way we move from simple labels to a narrative. Stringing these narratives together, we weave our interpretation of life.

“Making sense” in this way, life seems less disjointed. We feel like we’re “getting a grip” and may even [...]

Read Full Article →

The Mindful Negotiator’s Dilemma: To Prepare or Not to Prepare?

Peaceful Effort: A Musician’s Breakthrough

Presence: The Ground of Mindfulness

WHY HAVE AN APPLIED MINDFULNESS NETWORK?

SEARCH OUR SITE

RSS FEED

SUPPORT THE WORK

The Mindful Negotiator’s Dilemma: To Prepare or Not to Prepare?

Peaceful Effort: A Musician’s Breakthrough

Presence: The Ground of Mindfulness

WHY HAVE AN APPLIED MINDFULNESS NETWORK?

Have an account?

Register for this site!

Lost Your Password?

SEARCH OUR SITE

RSS FEED

SUPPORT THE WORK